DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
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I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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