We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize