the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
