Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
