How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
