After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
