Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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