dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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