we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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