he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize