worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
