no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
