who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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