Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
