I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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