He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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