were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
