I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
