As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
