oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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