what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
