My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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