i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Slut skills are useful in every country.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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