You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
