We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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