return my video game
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
