K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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