my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
