I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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