I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
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I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
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they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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