Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
