Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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