dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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