Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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