I just made out with a guy for $7.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
