dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
