if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
