ugly people sure do ruin things
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
