remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
