I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
