playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
