wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
