Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
