your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
