Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize