HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
