im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
