you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
