A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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