i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
