yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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