You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
