porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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