Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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