He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
