just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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