the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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