just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize