New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
