yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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