I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
