Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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